Make the Woman happy

Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

• You make the bed (+1)
• You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
• You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
• You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
• In the rain (+8)
• But return with Beer (-5)
• You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
• You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
• You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
• You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
• It’s her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

• You stay by her side the entire party (0)
• You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
• Named Tina (-4)
• Tina is a dancer (-10)

HER BIRTHDAY

• You take her out to dinner (0)
• You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+1)
• Okay, it’s a sports bar (-2)
• And it’s all-you-can- eat night (-3)
• It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can- eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

• You take her to a movie (+2)
• You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
• You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
• You take her to a movie you like (-2)
• It’s called ‘DeathCop’ (-3)
• You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE

• You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
• You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
• You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
• You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-8000)

ENJOY THE ‘BIG’ QUESTION

• She asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
• You hesitate in responding (-10)
• You reply, “Where?” (-35)
• Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

• When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
• You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
• You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
• She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

He called all the young people in the kingdom together one day.

He said, “It has come time for me to step down and to choose the next emperor. I have decided to choose one of you.”

The kids were shocked!

But the emperor continued.

“I am going to give each one of you a seed today. One seed. It is a very special seed. I want you to go home, plant the seed, water it and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from this one seed. I will then judge the plants that you bring to me, and the one I choose will be the next emperor of the kingdom!”

There was one boy named Ling who was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly told his mother the whole story. She helped him get a pot and some planting soil, and he planted the seed and watered it carefully. Every day he would water it and watch to see if it had grown.

After about three weeks, some of the other youths began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Ling kept going home and checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by. Still nothing.

By now others were talking about their plants but Ling didn’t have a plant, and he felt like a failure. Six months went by, still nothing in Ling’s pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Ling didn’t say anything to his friends, however. He just kept waiting for his seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the youths of the kingdom brought their plants to the emperor for inspection. Ling told his mother that he wasn’t going to take an empty pot. But she encouraged him to go, and to take his pot, and to be honest about what happened. Ling felt sick to his stomach, but he knew his mother was right. He took his empty pot to the palace.

When Ling arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by all the other youths. They were beautiful, in all shapes and sizes. Ling put his empty pot on the floor and many of the other kinds laughed at him. A few felt sorry for him and just said, “Hey nice try.”

When the emperor arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted the young people. Ling just tried to hide in the back.

“My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown,” said the emperor. “Today, one of you will be appointed the next emperor!”

All of a sudden, the emperor spotted Ling at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered his guards to bring him to the front.

Ling was terrified. “The emperor knows I’m a failure! Maybe he will have me killed!”

When Ling got to the front, the Emperor asked his name.

“My name is Ling,” he replied.

All the kids were laughing and making fun of him. The emperor asked everyone to quiet down.

He looked at Ling, and then announced to the crowd, “Behold your new emperor! His name is Ling!”

Ling couldn’t believe it. Ling couldn’t even grow his seed. How could he be the new emperor?

Then the emperor said, “One year ago today, I gave everyone here a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds which would not grow. All of you, except Ling, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grown, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Ling was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new emperor!”

1. Those who kiss their partner goodbye each morning live five years longer than those who don’t.
2. Kissing is great for self-esteem. It makes you feel appreciated and helps your state of mind.
3. Kissing burns calories, 2-3 calories a minute and can double your metabolic rate. Research claims that three passionate kisses a day (at least lasting 20 seconds each) will cause you to loose an entire extra pound! It’s time to start that kissing diet!
4. Kissing is a known stress-reliever. Passionate kissing relieves tension, reduces negative energy and produces a sense of well being, lowering your cortisol ‘stress’ hormone.
5. Kissing uses 30 facial muscles and it helps keep the facial muscles tight, preventing baggy cheeks! The tension in the muscles caused by a passionate kiss helps smooth the skin and increases the circulation.
6. Kissing is good for the heart, as it creates an adrenaline which causes your heart to pump more blood around your body. Frequent kissing has scientifically been proven to stabilize cardiovascular activity, decrease blood pressure and cholesterol.
7. Those who kiss quite frequently are less likely to suffer from stomach, bladder and blood infections.
8. During a kiss, natural antibiotics are secreted in the saliva. Also, the saliva contains a type of anesthetic that helps relieve pain.
9. Kissing reduces anxiety and stops the ‘noise’ in your mind. It increases the levels of oxytocin, an extremely calming hormone that produces a feeling of peace.
10. The endorphins produced by kissing are 200 times more powerful than morphine.

1. Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different.
2. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
3. The name of the entire continents end with the same letterthat they start with.
4. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
5. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using theletters on one row of the keyboard.
7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
8. You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath.
9. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
10. People say “Bless you” when you sneeze because when you sneeze,your heart stops for a millisecond.
11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
12. The “sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick” is said to be thetoughest tongue twister in the English language.
13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try tosuppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neckand die.
14. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.
    • Spades – King David
    • Clubs – Alexander the Great
    • Hearts – Charlemagne
    • Diamonds – Julius Caesar.
15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321 (count out the answer)
16. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legsin the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a resultof wounds received in battle. If the horse has a all four legs on the ground, the person died of naturalcauses.
17. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers andlaser printers all have in common?Answer – All invented by women.
18. Question – This is the only food that doesn’t spoil. What is this? Answer – Honey
19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
20. A snail can sleep for three years.
21. All polar bears are left handed.
22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olivefrom each salad served in first-class.
23. Butterflies taste with their feet.
24. Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump.
25. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
26. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
27. Shakespeare invented the words ‘assassination’ and ‘bump’.
28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
29. An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
30. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
31. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps o squirtblood 30 feet.
32. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could haveover a million descendants.
33. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria inyour ear by 700 times.

• (A) ccepts you as you are
• (B) elieves in “you”
• (C) alls you just to say “HI”
• (D) oesn’t give up on you
• (E) nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
• (F) orgives your mistakes
• (G) ives unconditionally
• (H) elps you
• (I) nvites you over
• (J) ust “be” with you
• (K) eeps you close at heart
• (L) oves you for who you are
• (M) akes a difference in your life
• (N) ever Judges
• (O) ffer support
• (P) icks you up
• (Q) uiets your fears
• (R) aises your spirits
• (S) ays nice things about you
• (T) ells you the truth when you need to hear it
• (U) nderstands you
• (V) alues you
• (W) alks beside you
• (X) plains thing you don’t understand
• (Y) ells when you won’t listen and
• (Z) aps you back to reality

DAY 1:
They watched their first movie together and were both touched in the romantic film.

DAY 4:
They went to the beach and had a picnic. Daniel and Jasmine had their quality time together.

DAY 12:
Daniel invited Jasmine to a circus and they went to a Horror House. Jasmine was scared and she tried to touch Daniel’s hand but by accident she touched someone else’s and they both laughed..

DAY 14:
They saw a fortune teller down the road and asked for their future. The fortune teller said: “My darlings, please don’t waste the time of your lives. Spend your time together happily.” Then tears flow from the teller’s eyes.

DAY 20:
Jasmine invited Daniel to go to the hill and they saw a meteor. Jasmine mumbled something .

DAY 28:
They rode on a bus and because of the bumpy road, Jasmine gave her first kiss to Daniel by accident.

DAY 29: 11:37 pm:
Daniel and Jasmine were sitting in the park where they first decided to play this game.

Daniel: I’m tired Jasmine. Do you want any drinks? I’ll buy you one. I’ll just go down the road.
Jasmine: Apple juice would be fine,thanks.
Daniel: Wait for me…

20 minutes later, a stranger approached Jasmine.

Stranger : Are you a friend of Daniel?

Jasmine : Yes. Why? What happened?

Stranger : A reckless drunken driver ran over Daniel and he is critical in the hospital.

11:57pm:
The doctor came out from the emergency room and handed out an apple juice and a letter to Jasmine.

Doctor : We found this in Daniel’s pocket.

Jasmine read the letter which says:

Jasmine, this past few days, I realized you are really a cute girl and I am falling for you. Your cherished smile, your everything when we played this game and before this game ends. I would like you to be my girlfriend for the rest of my life. I love you, Jasmine.

Jasmine crumples the paper & shouted..

Daniel! I don’t want you to die. I love you. Remember that night we saw a meteor? I mumbled something. I wished that we would be together forever and never end this game. Please don’t leave me, Daniel. I love you, you cannot do this to me.

Then the clock strikes twelve.

Daniel’s heart stop pumping

THEN IT WAS THE 30th DAY…

Always love your loved ones and show them how you feel before it’s too late. You will never know when they will be gone from your embrace. If you were given a time to bestow petals of everlasting compassion & love to your love ones, today is the day. Love them while they are still here.

Then seeing that he was far ahead of the tortoise, he thought he’d sit under a tree for some time and relax before continuing the race. He sat under the tree and soon fell asleep. The tortoise plodding on overtook him and soon finished the race, emerging as the undisputed champ.

The hare woke up and realized that he’d lost the race.

The moral:

Slow and steady wins the race.

This is the version of the story that we’ve all grown up with.”

THE STORY DOESN’T END HERE.

There are few more interesting things.

It continues as follows.

The hare was disappointed at losing the race and he did some soul-searching. He realized that he’d lost the race only because he had been overconfident, careless and lax. If he had not taken things for granted, there’s no way the tortoise could have beaten him. So he challenged the tortoise to another race. The tortoise agreed. This time, the hare went all out and ran without stopping from start to finish. He won by several miles. The moral:

Fast and consistent will always beat the slow and steady. It’s good to be slow and steady; but it’s better to be fast and reliable.

THE STORY DOESN’T END HERE

The tortoise did some thinking this time, and realized that there’s no way it can beat the hare in a race the way it was currently formatted. It thought for a while, and then challenged the hare to another race, but on a slightly different route. The hare agreed. They started off. In keeping with his self-made commitment to be consistently fast, the hare took off and ran at top speed until he came to a broad river. The finishing line was a couple of kilometres on the other side of the river. The hare sat there wondering what to do. In the meantime the tortoise trundled along, got into the river, swam to the opposite bank, continued walking and finished the race. The moral:

First identify your core competency and then change the playing field to suit your core competency.

THE STORY STILL HASN’T ENDED.

The hare and the tortoise, by this time, had become pretty good friends and they did some thinking together. Both realized that the last race could have been run much better. So they decided to do the last race again, but to run as a team this time. They started off, and this time the hare carried the tortoise till the riverbank. There, the tortoise took over and swam across with the hare on his back. On the opposite bank, the hare again carried the tortoise and they reached the finishing line together. They both felt a greater sense of satisfaction than they’d felt earlier. The moral:

It’s good to be individually brilliant and to have strong core competencies; but unless you’re able to work in a team and harness each other’s core competencies, you’ll always perform below par because there will always be situations at which you’ll do poorly and someone else does well.

Teamwork is mainly about situational leadership, letting the person with the relevant core competency for a situation take leadership. Note that neither the hare nor the tortoise gave up after failures. The hare decided to work harder and put in more effort after his failure. The tortoise changed his strategy because he was already working as hard as he could.

In life, when faced with failure, sometimes it is appropriate to work harder and put in more effort. Sometimes it is appropriate to change strategy and try something different. And sometimes it is appropriate to do both. The hare and the tortoise also learnt another vital lesson. When we stop competing against a rival and instead start competing against the situation, we perform far better.

To sum up, the story of the hare and tortoise has much to say:
Chief among them are that fast and consistent will always beat slow and steady; work to your competencies; pooling resources and working as a team will always beat individual performers; never give up when faced with failure; and finally, compete against the situation, not against a rival.