Make the Woman happy

Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

• You make the bed (+1)
• You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
• You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
• You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
• In the rain (+8)
• But return with Beer (-5)
• You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
• You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
• You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
• You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
• It’s her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

• You stay by her side the entire party (0)
• You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
• Named Tina (-4)
• Tina is a dancer (-10)

HER BIRTHDAY

• You take her out to dinner (0)
• You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+1)
• Okay, it’s a sports bar (-2)
• And it’s all-you-can- eat night (-3)
• It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can- eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

• You take her to a movie (+2)
• You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
• You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
• You take her to a movie you like (-2)
• It’s called ‘DeathCop’ (-3)
• You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE

• You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
• You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
• You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
• You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-8000)

ENJOY THE ‘BIG’ QUESTION

• She asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
• You hesitate in responding (-10)
• You reply, “Where?” (-35)
• Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

• When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
• You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
• You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
• She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

What IS True Love?

Girl: Do you think I am pretty?
Boy: No.
Girl: Would you like to be with me forever?
Boy: No.
Girl: If I leave, would you cry?
Boy: No.

She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face.

The boy grabbed her arm and said:

You’re not pretty you’re beautiful.
I don’t want to be with you forever,
I NEED to be with you forever.
And I wouldn’t cry if you walked away. I’d die.

Some people never understand. One a lady when having a conversation with her lover.

Lady: Why do you like me? Why do you love me?
Man: I can’t tell the reason but I really like you.
Lady: You can’t even tell me the reason. How can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?
Man: I really don’t know the reason but I can prove that I love you.
Lady: Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. My friend’s boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!
Man: Okay, Okay! Hmmm, because you are beautiful, because your voice is sweet, because you are caring, because you are loving, because you are thoughtful, because of your smile, because of your every movement.

The lady felt very satisfied with the man’s answer. Unfortunately, A few days later the lady met with an accident and went in coma. The guy then placed a letter by her side. Here is the content of the letter:

Darling, because of your sweet voice I loved you..
Now can you talk?No!
Therefore I cannot love you….

Because of your care and concern I liked you…
Now that you cannot show them,
therefore I cannot love you..

Because of your smile because of your every movement I loved you..
Now can you smile?Now can you move?.. no!
therefore I cannot love you..

If love needs a reason, like now,
there is no reason for me to love you anymore.

Does LOVE need a reason?

NO, Therefore,
I still love you…

True love never dies for it is lust that fades away. Love bonds for a lifetime lust just pushes away.

Immature love says: “I love you because I need You.”
Mature love says: “I need you because I love you.”

He walked down his block and found a lot of stores. He passed a CD store and looked through the front door for a second as he walked. He stopped and went back to look into the store. He saw a young girl about his age and he knew it was love at first sight. He opened the door and walked in, not looking at anything else but her. He walked closer and closer until he was finally at the front desk where she sat.

She looked up and asked, “Can I help you?”

She smiled and he thought it was the most beautiful smile he has ever seen before and wanted to kiss her right there.

He said, “Uh… Yeah… Umm… I would like to buy a CD.”

He picked one out and gave her money for it.

“Would you like me to wrap it for you?” she asked, smiling her cute smile again.

He nodded and she went to the back.

She came back with the wrapped CD and gave it to him. He took it and walked out of the store. He went home and from then on, he went to that store everyday and bought a CD, and she wrapped it for him. He took the CD home and put it in his closet. He was still too shy to ask her out and he really wanted to but he couldn’t. His mother found out about this and told him to just ask her.

So the next day, he took all his courage and went to the store. He bought a CD like he did everyday and once again she went to the back of the store and came back with it wrapped. He took it and when she wasn’t looking, he left his phone number on the desk and ran out…

!!!RRRRRING!!!

The mother picked up the phone and said, “Hello?”

It was the girl!!! She asked for the boy and the mother started to cry and said, “You don’t know? He passed away yesterday…”

The line was quiet except for the cries of the boy’s mother. Later in the day. The mother went into the boy’s room because she wanted to remember him. She thought she would start by looking at his clothes. So she opened the closet. She was face to face with piles and piles and piles of unopened CDs. She was surprised to find all those CDs and she picked one up and sat down on the bed and she started to open one.

Inside, there was a CD and as she took it out of the wrapper, out fell a piece of paper. The mother picked it up and started to read it.

It said: Hi… I think U R really cute. Do u wanna go out with me? Love, Jacelyn

The mother opened another CD…

Again there was a piece of paper. It said: Hi… I think U R really cute. Do u wanna go out with me? Love, Jacelyn

Love is… when you’ve had a huge fight but then decide to put aside your egos, hold hands and say, “I Love You”

1. Say “I Love You” at least once a day. Your partner does need to hear the words.
2. Kiss good-bye & hello. Throw in a hug while you’re at it.
3. “Date” your partner for the rest of your lives. Treat your partner even better than when you were dating… Remember that you are sweethearts:
   • open her door
   • straighten his tie
   • hold out her chair
   • hold hands when you’re walking together
4. Don’t sweat the small stuff. You can let his/her bad habits bother you to distraction or you can accept them, and work around them.
   Does she leave the cap off the toothpaste? Buy separate tubes.
   Does he leave clothes laying around? Ignore them, or pick them up, remembering just how much he does for you in other ways.
   Or, make it easier for your partner to satisfy you. Buy several clothes hampers and keep them handy.
5. Concentrate on the positive. Instead of thinking about the ways that s/he lets you down, think of all the positive things about your partner that drew you to them in the first place.
6. Take a breather when you’re mad. Don’t try to talk when either of you are angry. Take a few minutes to walk around the block, lay down, just get away from each other so you can regroup. A short break will allow you both to stay on track and discuss what’s bothering you instead of accidentally making personal insults that you will regret later.
7. Don’t use your partner’s secrets or weaknesses against them… ever! What may seem insignificant, trivial, or cute to you may be serious to your partner. Recognize what is important to your partner, and don’t discuss it with your friends, mother, his family, anyone! And certainly don’t throw the words back at them in an argument. A loving relationship is one of the most intimate and trusting that anyone can have.
8. Think about your partner first. If both of you do this, then you can’t help but win! Say “yes” to your partner as often as possible. Go to that sports event with him, get him out on that golf course because he loves golf, make life easier for your partner, and hopefully they will do the same for you!
9. R-E-S-P-E-C-T your partner. Don’t badmouth your partner to anyone! When you talk about your partner, let your respect and love shine through.
10. Find a way to regroup together every day. Discover what works well for you both… eat a meal together, meet for happy hour drinks, skip Leno at night and just lay in bed in the dark, take a walk around the block, etc. You can even mix things up and vary your routine. If one of you is traveling, call home at night just to hear their voice. The point is to spend time together daily, just talking or breathing the same air, feeling connected.