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Too Good!!!

  • Posted on June 1, 2009 at 5:34 pm

braincost In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their Family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces.

"The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain Transplant. It’s an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the Brain Yourselves."

The family members sat silently as they absorbed the news. After a great Length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?" The doctor quickly responded, "R s 50,000 for a male brain, and R s 200 for a Female brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding Eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man unable to Control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire Group, "It’s just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the Price of the female brains, because they’ve actually been used, the male Brains are hardly ever used by the owners. So they are as good as new"

Various Forms of Marketing

  • Posted on March 1, 2008 at 9:07 pm
  • You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!”
    - That’s Direct Marketing”
  • You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: ” He’s very rich. “Marry him.”
    -That’s Advertising”
  • You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: ” Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me.”
    - That’s Telemarketing”
  • You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:”By the way, I’m rich. Will you “Marry Me?”
    - That’s Public Relations”
  • You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:”You are very rich! “Can you marry ! Me?”
    - That’s Brand Recognition”
  • You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.”
    - That’s Customer Feedback”
  • You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” And she introduces you to her husband
    - That’s demand and supply gap
  • You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?” and she goes with him
    - That’s competition eating into your market share
  • You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your wife arrives.
    - That’s restriction for entering new markets

Think Differently

  • Posted on April 4, 2007 at 3:39 pm

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said:

I AM BLIND. PLEASE HELP.

There were only a few coins in the hat. A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy.

That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked: “Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?”

Think Differently – continue reading…

Big B

  • Posted on April 1, 2007 at 6:25 pm

When Amitabh Bachchan got fit after his long illness, one fine morning, he told his driver “Hey buddy, know what? I feel like driving today. Go and sit in the back”.

Driver, “But sir, What about your health?”

Amitabh “Nothing’s wrong with my health, I am completely fit and fine. What do you want me to do? Dance? Fight? Hain”.

What can the driver say? He sits in the back and Amitabh Bachchan start driving. He starts going in a really high speed. Breaking one red signal after another.

Finally a Hawaldar (Traffic Cop) stops his car. Walking to the car he asks for the driving license.

Amitabh Bachchan rolls down his window. The Hawaldar is shocked to see Amitabh Bachchan in the driving seat.

He quickly gets on the wireless and calls his superior, “Sir come here fast”

Big B – continue reading…

Smart Wife

  • Posted on April 1, 2007 at 6:08 pm

There was a man who had worked all his life, saved all his money, and was a real miser.

Just before he died he said to his wife, “When I die I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me, I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.”

And so he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died she would put all his money in the casket with him.

Well he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony just before they were ready to close the casket the wife say, “Wait a minute!”

She had a box with her and she came over with the box and put it in the casket.

Smart Wife – continue reading…

Coca Cola Salesman

  • Posted on April 1, 2007 at 6:06 pm

Disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East ( Dubai ) assignment.

A friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Arabs?”

The salesman explained, “When I got posted in Dubai , I was very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem; I didn’t know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters. First poster: a man crawling through the hot desert sand, totally exhausted and fainting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place.”

“That should have worked,” said the friend.

The salesman replied, “Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn’t realize that Arabs read from right to left…”

Letter to God

  • Posted on March 25, 2007 at 6:31 pm

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.

His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.

“Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.“, Little Bobby said to his mother.

Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.

Bobby’s mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday.

Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.

Bobby’s mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.

Letter to God – continue reading…

Smart lady

  • Posted on March 23, 2007 at 4:03 am

A woman was in the kitchen cooking dinner and she was just singing, humming and giggling all over herself. Her husband asked her why she was so happy. She said, “I went to the doctor today and he said I have the beauty of a twenty year old.”
Smart lady – continue reading…

Which month are you?

  • Posted on February 17, 2007 at 3:37 am

See the month in which you are born and you will find out your personality !!
JANUARY : Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious. Always her self. Sexy/ hot/ cute/ everything. Which month are you? – continue reading…

Heaven or Hell?

  • Posted on January 25, 2007 at 1:15 am

Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being
sized up by God…

“Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call. I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. In your case, I’m going to let you decide where you want to go!”

Bill replied, “Well, thanks, God. What’s the difference between the two?”

God said, “I’m willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a decision.” “Fine, but where should I go first?” God said, “I’m going to leave that up to you.” Bill said, “OK, then, let’s try Hell first.” So Bill went to Hell.

It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. “This is great!” he told God, “If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!” “Fine,” said God and off they went.

Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision. “Hmm, I think I prefer Hell” he told God. “Fine,” retorted God, “as you desire.” So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see
how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons. “How’s everything going, Bill?” God asked.

Bill responded – his voice full of anguish and disappointment, “This is awful, this is not what I expected. I can’t believe this happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?”

God says, “That was the screen saver“.