pain of love

Has there ever been a time when I was fully alone
That I didn’t think about you and me
All the mistakes I made, each one hurting you more and more
Was that why you hit me?
Was that why you raped me?
Each time whispering compliments and “I love you”
I didn’t bite my tongue, just kept on talking
Allowing my words to burn you
Opening up my scars
Bleeding, crying, begging, but still you stay
Hurting me physically as I hurt you verbally
Pain of love is nothing
Love is nothing but confused pain
With each word I said, I hurt you
Every time you touched me, I hurt myself
Was I blind?
Am I weak?
Will the pain of love leave with you?
My body and heart burn with fear and happiness when you threaten to leave
My mind’s fucked up because of you
I’m not sure if I’m worth anything
You broke me with each word I said
Using “I love you” to make you right
I will never be free from the pain of love
If that’s what we even shared.